Do I really think it was a good idea?

What if I change my mind? Again?

I'm impatient for the answer. I need it now...

I have messed up many things already

What if I mess up this thing too?

I'm scared it will happen again

I DON'T want it to happen to anybody else

Am I really that bad?

Or paranoia finally consumed my mental health whole?

I'm worried, I really need to know the answer

Maybe I'm just pushing it and won't gain anything back

I don't want to be the part of other's conversations

I am still thinking about this... was it the right decision?

What if...

What if he declines? What if... he isn't as good as he looks?

I know his pattern, I know how he works

But...

Will I know the answer?

I just want to know.

Without anyone being hurt... again.